Technical

Written on June 29, 2026

This parody of the Warren G song “Regulate” was written for our defect triage team on a big work project.

intro
Regulators
We regulate any fixin' of it, properly
We're real good too
But you can't be any geek in the seat
Gotta be quick to mouse click
If you know what I mean, earn your keep
(Regulators, mount up)

verse 1
It was the next test phase, another dry run
Pod teams were in the streets, marking tasks done
Config and the code, refined in every way
Now sit with the biz to see what they will say

Just hit the east side of the UAT
On a mission just to get all the tests complete
Seen a small batch of errors ain't no need to freak
Grant the roles, close the holes in security

The tests progress by QA and users
Connected apps all say "Let's do this"
When new bugs arrive, the counts go up
The graphs show the stats, so we said "We're stuck"

With defects pilin' up, gonna strike a nerve
P3 and P4, kicked to the curb
Onto bigger, better things that need the fix
P1 and P2 all in this mix

verse 2
They're gettin' stacked, but not on the shelf
I can't believe the daily bug health
Across the pods and every workstream
I looked at my brothas said "What does it mean?"

They got my homies hemmed up and they all around
Can't even see the finish line, bugs by the pound
We need a team to assess and do that math
An expert group to tag the bugs and clear a path

A go-live on the line, we just can't risk it
We need a better way, we need team fix-it
If I had wings I would fly, there's no time to lose
The state of this task goes directly to Approved

Quadrants for the tix and a process flow
The team is about to make some defects turn cold
Now they droppin' and closin', and it feels so great
M Vance and T Miles had to regulate

verse 3
They moved all them bugs around, we work them as we're told
Now we switchin' our minds into triage mode
If you want speed, sit back and observe
I just left some P4s over there on the curb

M Hayes plus Ashish, and also Jacobo
Felicity, Craig, the team has gone global
Daily reviews, 'cause it's on
F-I-X-I and T, the team's priority

Just like we thought, we were in a tough spot
In need of some desperate help
The Fix-It team and their quadrants
Would cinch up our bug fixin' belts

One of them bugs was fixed really well
I said "Ooh, it's time to close"
I heard "Not so fast, did you send to QA? Or back to PO?"
I got a list full of fixes, and it's time to clear some
The next stop is the bug state of Done

verse 4
We're leaping, into a whole new era
Fix-It, step to this, I dare ya
Bugs, on a whole new level
The dashboard is the place to set pace and the effort

Tags, meetings, we brings priority
Fix-It, where approval is life
And work needs approval
If you know like I know
You don't wanna step to this

It's the Fix-It era
Decked out with a dashboard twist
If you test like I test
Then your work better carry weight
And if your bug don't pass muster, Fix It team will regulate